I have been wanting to do this for a while now but was so skeptical about it as I’m constantly running out of time. But I know the busyness is going to take a long time. So I will have to make time. Last night, I finally shared the question sticker on my stories. I got hundreds of questions/comments from you guys. So I’m trying my best to answer some of them here in this blog post. If you have more questions, please feel free to comment.
Please share about Zyems feeding (purees). What did you start with and how many times a day?
Zyem has been exclusively breastfed for the most part. We have kept Similac powder formula only for emergencies (max 1 bottle a day). I pump for when I’m not home so formula usage has been close to zero in the past few months.
When he was 3 months old, I started giving him a small portion of mashed banana every day (or every other day). After some weeks, I tried giving him half boiled egg and steamed mashed apple. Whatever food I give him is a very small portion and is given to him only once a day. Doctors suggest starting solids at 6 months. But I trusted my mom more on this point. So do what you feel is right.
Here’s my detailed article telling you all about baby food and what my plan has been with both kids.
How do you manage household with 2 little ones and work? Home alone with kids abroad. Feeling too low and exhausted. How do you manage all things?
Its not easy and is a compromise but karna tu parta hai (don’t have a choice). Some days, kids get more quality time, some days house chores get done better, some days husband quality time and some days business work. Not possible to do everything perfectly everyday! So I try to focus on what is most urgent and also on what I feel like doing more that day.
No doubt, kids and house chores feel never-ending. Having no help is difficult, to say the least. But my husband and I try to manage it all in the best way possible. We realize that we’re in this together so we divide house and kid chores whenever he isn’t working. Mashallah we both are a great team and have become way more efficient since Zyem came. My only major dua now is ‘May Allah always keep us healthy’ so we are able to keep up. Parents really can’t afford to get sick when kids are small and so dependent.
Zyem ki raat ki routine kiya hai? Mera baita 3.5 months ka hai and woh 12 bajay uth jata hai aur phir 4 bajay sota hai. (Whats Zyems night routine). My baby is 2.5 month old. How to fix his nighttime routine. Please help.
Zyems Night Time Routine:
I had a horrible time with Nyras sleep till she was 17 months old. So this time, I tried to stay on top of it by doing my research beforehand. Read articles from trustworthy resources like @BabyCenter and discussed with experts at the Resource Center. With all this support, there is a significant difference and I can’t thank Allah enough.
Now, I put Zyem for his night time sleep at around 🕕️5 or 6 pm every night. The room is very dark, theres white noise all through the night. Even when he cries for a feed/diaper change, I turn on my bedside lamp which has very dim light. Changing area is in bedroom too. So he doesn’t leave the bedroom till 7/8 am daily. I have hung a blanket on our side of his crib so he can’t see us so he sleeps better. If kids can see parents, I’ve experienced that they are more curious to keep an eye on us and can’t sleep as well.
Babies make noise at night. No need to pick them up or go to them unless its a cry! Don’t go to them if its only a talking voice or even playful yelling. Only go to them to soothe them if they’re actually crying. Even then, first try to soothe them by stroking their body and talking to them or singing lullaby. If nothing works, then you can hold them to soothe them.
Every time Zyem wakes up at night (usually 2-3 times roughly 10 pm, 2 am, 6 am), I feed him, change his diaper & put him back into his crib to sleep. In case he tries to open his eyes wide, I say Shh sound. I don’t use my daytime chirpy voice nor talk to him happily all night as my night mode is on (I have learned that trick and works great). I just silently kiss him a lot at night. In the last 10 mins of every feed during the night, I turn the light off and only keep night light on. This ensures that he goes back to sleep as his eyes are fully closed by the time he’s done feeding and I transfer him into his crib.
In case he doesn’t seem to want to go back to sleep after feed at night, I still put him back in his crib with all the night cues. He then talks, stretches, shrills (checking out his vocals) and eventually goes back to sleep himself. In very rare cases if he cries, I feed him once more and get him back into crib. So theres no option of staying awake at night and Allah shukar he is great about going back to sleep at night (unlike Nyra). Its miraculous that breastmilk at night has melatonin that helps babies calm down and go back to sleep. Milk production is the best at night too between 1-4 am.
🕖️At around 7 am after his feed, he’s usually up and chirpy so I bring him to the living room where he chills while we are busy with Nyra and she goes off to school at 8:30 am. Then around 9 am, I bring him back to bedroom for his first nap of the day. His current wake windows are 2 hours. So after every 2 hours during the day, I have to go to bedroom, feed him and try to get him down for a nap. You can check wake windows for your child to know when to put him back for a nap.
Even though I try to be in bed before 10 PM most nights, I still get 5 hours of sleep at night on an average. Every night waking for me involves feeding, drinking water, eating a snack, checking on Nyra in her room, diaper change & a visit to the washroom. It sure is hard to look after kids at night. Hang in there. IA just a few more months hopefully.
Did you use any perticular step stool for Nyra while she cooks with you?
We use the regular adult step stool for her. Its already in the kitchen for me to use for top cabinets. I had explained safety precautions to Nyra and remind her often.
Why don’t you cook meat?
I do. For the past couple of years (especially after mamas cancer), I’ve found out that the healthiest way to live is by eating more vegetables. And there were times in my life when I didn’t like to eat them. So now, I have a new found love for them and try to make them as much as possible.
How to increase breast milk supply?
The internet is full of totkas. But what worked for me: having milk 2/3 times a day, pumping at least once a day & only offering breastmilk (no formula). When babies are only breastfed, body makes more milk to match their need. Our bodies are so amazing! Alhamdullillah!
How to manage time with baby?
First of all, it is extremely hard! What I do is that everytime he is down for a nap/sleep, I do what is highest priority task. Every second is vital & planning needs to be perfect as I never know when he’ll be up again. I’ve really struggled with Zyems naps. He isn’t a napper. So in my 24 hours, I get very little time that I can actually get stuff done. So I have to choose whats most urgent. Every thing else unfortunately has to wait. We understand that we are in survival mode so we don’t have very high expectations.
What was Zyem’s birth weight and how much time he took to put on weight?
He was born at 6 pounds 10 ounces. Check milestones with your nurse. Generally babies have to double their birth weight by 4-6 months and tripple their birth weight by 1 year. Mashallah Zyem has exceeded this target. He’s slim but long. Babies must not be compared to other babies. Their comparison is only with their previous selves.
What is your mom’s name? I always get confused about G in her name.
Mama’s legal name is Shireen Najib Khan. But she has loved using Shireen Gheba as an artist. Gheba is the family name from her dad’s side. Pindi Gheb is the name of my nana’s village that she takes after.
Does Zyem take bottle?
Yes we wanted him to be exposed to bottle from the start in case I’m not at home. So he is familiar with it. He has pumped milk or formula in bottle.
Please share cheese paratha recipe?
Here is my recipe of cheese paratha.
Your qualification? Also your online working nature?
I’m an MBA in Marketing. I’m a business owner. I mainly design websites and manage social media for businesses.
How do you manage to bathe zyem daily? Also share video of zyems bath.
I have been taking my morning shower for years now. I can’t start my day without one. So I feel good when I give him a bath every morning too. Its mainly about creating a system. I have a good bath tub (same one I got for Nyra, re-using) and keep his towels in the bathroom. Its not difficult to bathe him daily thankfully. I try to keep it quick and give him a nice massage right after the bath. We both enjoy his bath and its our quality time together. We do lots of baatein (talk) too. No video sorry! Privacy is for babies too.
How to teach self-soothing?
By giving babies some opportnities to be by themselves & play by themselves. We can go pick them up when they cry but let them be, otherwise. It is important for them.
We don’t need to entertain them all day. Self-soothing is essential for their emotional development and overall well-being. While infants at this age are still heavily reliant on caregivers, introducing gentle strategies can help them learn to regulate their emotions. A few things that can help your baby: swaddling, cuddling with blanket or stuffy, pacifier, teether etc.
When will you visit Pakistan. Can’t wait for baby reunions
Praying and hoping it can happen in the winter this year. I’m also too excited for baby Zs to meet.
I want to make my website. Can you help me with it?
Sure. Please find details here and contact me once you’ve gone through it. Would be more than happy if it works for both of us.
I really like the activities you are doing with your daughter. Please tell me how you create it.
Nyra and I both love creative art stuff. So we do projects together that we are inspired about. Pinterest is the best place to get motivated.
Please share some tips for independent play in toddlers.
Everything I have learned about independent play is through Tory Halpin. Thanks to my follower who told me about her as my life literally changed since. On her instagram, see this highlight on Solo Play. Haaris & I also bought her Independent Play Course and did it together. It has been a parenting game changer for sure. Nyra plays for hours by herself now. We feel like we finally got our life back. Thank God I was able to get more time without putting her in front of any screen.
Any tips for calming during parenting
- Best tip is to keep reading updates about your kids current age, their challenges and how we can cope with them. Best resource is Baby Center. Subscribe to their monthly emails to know updates for your kids. Reading these guides helps us be more patient as we understand and are reminded about our kids limitations and our unreasonable expectations.
- Another tip is to read this masterpiece book called ‘Scream free parenting‘.
- Another tip is to look at kids hands and feet and remind ourselves how small they are when they are getting on our nerves.
- I feel like we get more frustrated with our kids when we are pouring too much from our cup and its empty. So take care of yourself. Ask partner to keep kids so you can do what you love. Look after yourself especially your health. When you are healthy and happy, you will be able to be more patient with your kids.
Potty training tips
Here is my post on how I trained Nyra.
Please share how and when Nyras sleeping habits improved
She was a bad sleeper. I was a first time mom so I didn’t know much. I feel like I made a lot of mistakes too. When she was 17 months old, I moved her into our bed and she started sleeping through the night finally. Co-sleeping worked well for us for some time. At 2.5, we finally moved her into her own room. She is normally great about sleeping through the night in her room since then.
Apne zyem ka aqiqah nahi kia or baal bhi nahi utarwaye uske 7th day?
We did aqiqa by sending money to mama in Pakistan. She did it on our behalf. My MIL shaved Zyems head. We didn’t do it on 7th day.
Activities to do with your babies in Halifax?
My favourite activities:
- Taking them to public libraries & their events
- Taking them to resource centers & registering them to classes
- Enrolling them to swimming classes
- Involving them in outdoor activities like sledding, iceskating, walks, visit to parks etc.
- Taking them to cafes, museums etc with you
I love your creativity
Thank you. I feel like thats what keeps me happy & content. Life has too much drama so the creative side of me keeps my mental health in check.
Share your sehri and iftar routine. How to manage fast with a breastfeeding baby?
In Islam, a breasfeeding mom doesn’t have to fast. So I won’t be fasting .
Whats your daily routine like when do you wake up. how much do you selep?
These days, I try to sleep by 9/10 pm. I wake up 7 ish am! (Could never imagine this could ever happen to me :D) My sleep depends on how many times Zyem wakes me up for feed that night. Can be between 2-4 times a night. Every night wake time can take me up to an hour to go back to sleep (feed, diaper, check nyra, I go to washroom). Its kind of unpredictable. But mostly I only get 5-6 hours at night MAX. Unfortunately I’m unable to nap during the day!
Please write a blog on Nyra early age book series. Which you introduce.
We’ve literally been reading to her since she was born so not possible to recommend all books we’ve read to her or fav ones of each stage. But here is a link of some baby recommended books that I last updated years ago.
I’m living in Toronto, do visit me when you are in Toronto.
Visits to Toronto have been stressful for us as A TON of our friends and family live there so there’s a lot of social pressure and distances to consider. But I would love to do a Meet & Greet there Inshallah one day!
Thora sa kam feeding post kia karein. Waliya ko dekha ha kbhi feeding feeding ki posts sy instagram bhaartay? Ap behad feeding feeding karti hain stories pr banda tang ajaata hai k bai dudh pilanko ko itna kiya uchalna.
- For the past 4 months, I’ve had a baby who has been cluster feeding for the most part. So feeding has literally consumed most of my days! So I feel my day story isn’t complete without the real picture.
- Kindly don’t compare me to anyone even my sisters as we are all individuals with our own thoughts and life and shouldn’t be compared with eachother.
- If anything someone does or talks about in their life (or stories) ticks you off so much, please don’t follow them as it’ll only spread negative vibes 🙂
Share your journey of self soothing and sleep training your kid. Would you know about it.
I don’t believe in sleep training with crying it out method. I never let my babies cry. I do believe in teaching them to self soothe and incorporating good sleeping habits that I learned by reading a lot of articles, books and talking to experts in the field. Night routine discussed in detail above.
How long was your TTC journey?
I had to google to know that TTC means Trying to Conceive. Alhamdulillah, both times it was hardly any time. Both times were pretty instant from the time we started trying for a baby. May Allah make it easier for those who have been trying for a while. I hear it can be a frustrating journey so my prayers are with them.
Latching tips
Best to see a lactation consultant if you’re having problem. I did too initially. Best way is to have the baby open a wide mouth, try to get as much breast tissue in babys mouth as possible and you should be able to see his bottom lip. Baby should never be on nipple only. So, the key is to have a bigger breast tissue in baby’s mouth for a good latch.
What about making baby head shape? any tips like sar bithao forehead sides etc.
I don’t know anything about this. Been giving him tummy time since the beginning and have been letting him sleep on his sides too (altering them).
Pumping ka faiday?
- Supply increases.
- You can go out and let someone else lookafter baby while you’re gone.
- Have extra milk for times when baby is more hungry.
How to treat a colic baby
I never had one so I dont know. Ask your doc. I know Colic massage helps. Kawa (mint leaves, fennel seeds) helps too.
My baby doesn’t sleep by herself. Usko bohat buri adat ho gayi hai rocking ki
Its harder to remove bad habits once they’ve been established. Hence its better to instill great habits from the very start. Best way for you now is to stop rocking so baby can start learning to sleep without rocking. If he cries, try other soothing methods except rocking like pacifier, swaddling, cuddling, singing lulabies etc.
Experience with babys pacifier? Should we use it or not?
Despite what others said, I loved using pacifiers with Nyra. I tried to give it to Zyem but he refuses.
Mei jab bhi kisi ka baby dekhti hoon mujh bhi craving hoti hai k myn b karloon. I already have 3. How to stop.
Such an interesting comment. Even if I love babies, I wouldn’t think of going through it all another time. We all are different. If its affecting your life, family and relationship with spouce, its a good idea to discuss with a counseller or therapist. In my opinion, each one of us needs a therapist.
My baby sleeps in my arms and wakes up everytime I put him in his crib.
Oh I’ve struggled with this so bad myself. Zyem would do this on all his daytime naps and it was impossible for me to do anything as he just wouldn’t nap except on me while feeding.
What finally started working mostly for me is to put him side-ways with a blanket under him and around him while making Shh sound. Best of luck.
How do you deal with differences in parenting style with husband?
Alhamdullillah, my husband and I have grown together in this boat. I have been constantly reading books, articles & blogs regarding parenting and have been trying to be a better parent since the beginning. I tell him whatever I learn so we both apply strategies together. I’m so thankful that he and I are on the same page regarding parenting style. When others come over and try to enforce their contradicting parenting styles on our kids, it creates a havoc in our home. I wish parents were respected for their parenting styles without interference from others.
Conclusion:
There were also so so many beautiful and sweet comments that filled my heart with so much love. Thank you so much for your kindness.
