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Marriage

Expert Marriage Advice from Virtual Date Night

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After-thoughts

Haaris & I attended this beautiful event ‘How to make love last with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages” (a book that has saved countless marriages) on Friday night at our 9:30 pm.

We were done with iftar (breaking our fast), Nyra was asleep and we had our cupcakes, pop, strawberries with choc & crisps ready. We both cozied up and thoroughly enjoyed this interactive & educational evening. The resident DJ played really nice music throughout the evening. 

Haaris and I had both read this book about a decade ago. Following are the 5 love languages:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

The key to this subject is that we must learn to speak our partners love language for our marriage to improve. 

I realised that we attend so many work related conferences and events but never had we attended an event to improve something that’s far more important than our career: Marriage. This event gave us so many real-life tips on improving relationships and marriage. It started with Dr. Gary Chapmans presentation. I loved each word he spoke. He is a true relationship guru. Then all the participating couples filled out 5 love language quiz to find out our love language. All of you should fill up the couples quiz at: 

It’s vital to know what your and your spouse’s love language is. Then Dr. Chapman answered questions about giving and receiving love in our language. Then there was a music break and then it ended with a dancing session. 

It was so interesting how all the 250+ participants joined from all over the world from the comfort of their home. It was so intereting to see the DJ playing from his home, host and Gary Chapman speaking from their home too…. This is the Covid world. 

My Takeaways

Following are some of the takeaways from this event:

  • The core of every marriage is our deep need to feel loved. 
  • The average lifespan of love is 2 years. After that, we have to keep working on our marriage. 
  • If we don’t speak our partners love language, their love tank will be empty. If partner speaks your love language, your love tank will be full. A good marriage needs to have both spouses love tanks full
  • We wrongly assume that our spouses love language is similar to ours and we offer them what we like. We need to offer them what they are keen about. 
  • We can find out a persons love language through the quiz above, or by observation, their requests & complaints. They will tell us. We just need to listen & observe. These 3 Qs can also tell you: What can I do to help you? How can I make your life easier? How can I become a better spouse? 
  • Even childrens love languages are obvious by the time they’re 4. What is it that your child requests or wants more of out of all the 5 love languages? 
  • Choose to speak each other’s language. Prefer to live with a spouse with a full love tank. He will be a happier, satisfied person. 
  • Your love language mostly stays the same throughout your life but in life’s difficult phases, seasons or circumstances, they can briefly change. 
  • After kids, couples often get distant with each other as they’re too involved in their kids. We must remember that the best gift we can give our kids is: model of loving parents. We must stay loving to our spouse even after having children.
  • Often couples become distant with each other due to work. They think they’re too busy and don’t have time to spend with each other. We must remember that WE CONTROL OUR TIME. Life’s meaning is not found in things. It is found in relationships. Our deepest pain and deepest satisfaction is in relationships

I would like to thank the organisers for giving us such a beautiful gift of attending this event. It will definitely help in improving our marriage IA. 

About Dr. Gary Chapman

Gary Chapman, Ph.D.—author, speaker, and counselor—has a passion for people, and for helping them form lasting relationships. The 5 Love Languages® is one of Chapman’s most popular publications, selling over twelve million copies, and has been on the New York Times best-sellers list since 2007. His nationally-syndicated radio programs air on over 400 stations.⁠

Dr. Chapman has pored through years of counseling session notes, recognizing a pattern in the complaints and questions between spouses. Surprisingly, the solutions fell into five categories, with one simple premise: different people with different personalities express love in different ways. Gary called these ways of expressing and receiving love the “5 Love Languages.” More than 25 years later, this revolutionary concept has improved millions of relationships across the globe. 

Come share your thoughts

What is your love language? Have you attended any relationship events in your lifetime? 

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