Best People Skills for Life

About 5 years ago I read Dale Carnegie’s book ‘How to stop worrying and start living‘ and it changed my life. Recently, I saw his other book ‘How to win friends and influence people‘ at the library and decided to go for it. This is again a life-changer.

How to Win Friends & Influence People

Today I am going to re-write the summarised points from each section of this book so those who haven’t read it can learn from it and those who have read it can refer to the main points. I’m also writing this post for myself so I can keep coming back to it and remember these tips as they are so so important in life.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling people

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

6 Ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

How to win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
8. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
9. Appeal to the nobler motives.
10. Dramatize your ideas.
11. Throw down a challenge.

How to be a leader

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this.

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

I hope you learned a thing or two from this post today. Let me know your thoughts.